While I wait to find out for sure what’s going on in my scumbag brain, I’ve been doing some reading on seizures. Not for self-diagnosis purposes, but to simply prepare myself for the possibilities.
Following the second seizure I had, I spent most of the day in hospital. I had a CT scan done, which showed nothing out of the ordinary, but two seizures in such a short time generally means something somewhat serious is going on. I was put on anti-epileptic medication, told not to drive for a year, then sent on my merry way to wait for an appointment with a neurologist. They’ve given me three months of the medication, so I’m guessing that’s about how long I’m going to have to wait. Joy!
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Anyway, my research uncovered a few possibilities. The first being epilepsy proper. This is the one I think is the most likely outcome. There are a lot of different types of epilepsy, so I would need to be tested to find out exactly which kind I have (if I have it). Very basically, epileptic seizures are caused by abnormal, excessive or repetitive and rhythmic neuronal activity in the brain. My CT scan showed nothing, but something may show up on an MRI and/or an EEG.
I could have also experienced non-epileptic seizures. These seizures don’t have the neuronal activity component and can be caused by a variety of things, but in my case, it may have been stress and/or my inability to get restorative sleep (thanks ME!). However, due to the fact that I was experiencing what was most likely simple partial seizures and complex partial seizures for a few months before the main event, it seems more likely that I had some neurons being big ol’ dicks up in my noggin.
Another possible diagnosis could be psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. I originally thought that this was the most likely diagnosis considering I had recently become overwhelmed with anxiety, and I already have two syndromes which are considered to be somatoform (or “psychological”), not physical in nature. Being batshit crazy seemed like a good enough reason to assume the seizures were psychological in nature.
But the more I read into it, the less likely it seemed. The biggest clue was that I was asleep during both of my tonic-clonic seizures. I also didn’t display any of the telltale signs of PNES, such as specific movements or seizing in front of an audience. I also bit my tongue in a fashion that’s specific to epileptic seizures and Sam tells me I did an “ictal cry1” before seizing both times, another thing which is specific to epileptic seizures. I also seem to be responding to the meds I’m on, apart from a possible seizure a few days ago when I was SUPER tired.
It’s really frustrating having to wait to find out exactly what’s going on. It’s not helping my anxiety issues at all, and to be honest, I’m scared shitless that even if I eventually recover from ME and fibro, I’m still going to have epilepsy for the rest of my life.
- A loud moan, grunt or scream.
