I just finished reading this article written by a 17-year-old girl about her best friend’s ordeal with cyber bullies. As I was reading, the story sounded a whole lot like mine, right down to actually having clinical depression and having to make the shitty decision to have an abortion. The only difference is that I was bullied without the aid of technology.
Back then, the internet was only for ‘nerds’. In fact, I was bullied about1 my interest in the internet. I was actually on the cutting edge of the next big thing, but they didn’t know that. Anyone who used a computer in their leisure time, for anything other than playing games, was a loser. As the internet became more popular, I got all hipster about it. You know, saying things like “I was on the internet before it was cool!”.
Anyway, the idea that bullying has somehow become more prevalent because of the internet and smartphones and all that fandangled techno stuff bothers me. The only thing that has changed is that the bullying can continue outside school, and the cowardly bullies can hide behind the anon feature a lot of social networking websites provide. That’s it. Bullies have always been a “thing”, and there are no more now than there was back before the popularisation of the internet.
Instead of blaming the internet, we need to work on making sure our own kids aren’t little assholes. I know, I know. It sounds too simple to be something that would actually work, but here’s a little bit of anecdotal evidence for ya.
When I was 14, I was assaulted by a girl in my class who thought I was being racist. I won’t tell the whole story because it’s long and probably hard to follow if you don’t know about the Maori people, but basically, she punched me in the head seven times for insulting her culture (which also happens to be my culture, despite my white skin). I went straight to the deputy principal to report it. This was only a few days before the school holidays, so in true bureaucratic style, both of us were stood down until school was back in session.
When it came time to sort the matter out with the principal, I had moved on. I know I didn’t do anything to deserve it, just like every other time I had been bullied. The only issue I had with what had happened was that she got violent. And that’s the same issue her parents had with it. They had no idea she was the kind of person to behave the way she did. I’m not going to say they neglected her or anything, but they did fail to notice that she was actually a little asshole. Whenever I was behaving like a little asshole, my parents would give it to me straight. This girl’s parents didn’t.
She had to smack me in the head several times for her parents to find out what she was really like, but it worked. She was expelled from school because of its zero tolerance for violence policy, but last I heard, she is working as a community support worker. Which is something I don’t think she would have done if it weren’t for her parents. They sorted the little asshole out.
Being bullied as a kid up until I finally left school was rough, I won’t lie. I left school because I couldn’t handle being bullied any more. But as I sit here, a 26 year old who is likely to start popping out babies in the next 5-10 years, I know that I won’t be blaming the internet for bullying. I will be blaming the bullies, and their parents and caregivers. Cutting kids off from social networking won’t stop bullying. CYBER bullying is not the problem. BULLYING is the problem.
Also, if anyone who is being bullied is reading this, it’s not your fault and it gets better. Way better. Only the people who really care about you will be left once school is over and done with and the little assholes will grow into giant assholes, and nobody likes a giant asshole.
- Among a lot of other things!